It’s the 7th day of the month… again.

And my heart is broken still.

How many more months before I can feel that the 7th day is just an ordinary day, like the 16th, or 29th? It’s really agonizing. I mean, when you think about it, it’s only been four months! On Sunday, the whole world will celebrate Mother’s Day and this is the first time that we won’t be celebrating it. In fact, it will be the first time of many from hereon – Christmas, New Year, etc. I used to be giving her cakes and all that but at this point, nothing will suffice but just flowers, a candle, and a prayer.

You’d think that after more than one-hundred and twenty days, everything will be back to the way it was. It isn’t. Barely moving forward in fact. And it’s the one reason why I don’t want to be staying home for too long – because everything feels unnatural! The afternoons are so quiet and the dinner all the more.

I’d be going home from work and no one will greet me a warm welcome. I’d shed a tear.
I look at the kitchen and imagine her cooking us a meal. I’d shed a tear.
Time to go to sleep with the whole day spent at home, not even talking to her. I’d weep some more.

Last Friday, I went to the church to talk with you. Were you able to listen to all my troubles? I haven’t had the chance to talk about them to you before. It’s lousy isn’t it? Now that I know I won’t be expecting any reply soon. Maybe in kind (I hope).

Anyway, it’s getting longer than I intend it to be and I don’t want my keyboard to be soaking wet.

Know that you still are the love of my life. I miss you a lot!

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