Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Kawaii!!! ^^,

Tomoya-chan and Sakura-chan. ^^, Ep. 192 of Tsubasa Chronice out now! ^^,

Since you both are still having fun jamming out there, I am still hoping that you’d be releasing your next single really soon. Please.. I have waited too long and I have longed enough for your music. T_T

I need to hear more Jyukai music. Hope it reaches Japan. XD

I’m getting hooked to anime again. I love Myself; Yourself. It gets me really shouting on how the events are turning out. Haha. Looking forward to a great ending. ^^,

Of relation(s) with my past and hopefully in the future.

I just felt like writing something since I was really inspired while reading one of the greatest manga I’ve ever read, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. Aired here in the Philippines as The Chronicle of the Wings, it really is a perfect combination of elements of a beautiful story for me. It is, as if a masterpiece for me. Really soul-catching, if there’s such a word. Amazing plot.. I’m really amazed.

Since as what I have written here, I have been dreaming of her for the past few months indefinitely yet I don’t know if it’s a sign of whatever or something I just don’t understand. Some say that it’s just a big deal. Yeah, I can think of it, but since I am the one who have experienced it, you can’t just tell me to that and accept it as what you say!? I’m the one affected here, having a really sorrowful (okay that’s exaggeration) past.

A friend of mine said that the only way to be able to stop dreaming of her, and possibly forget her totally is to “meet up” with her, or just see her and have a little, healthy conversation to satisfy what my unconscious being starves for. But if that time is to happen, I have to be prepared or suffer the consequences of not being able to even approach her knowing the personality that I have. So if I can write destiny, I would like this to happen so that I can manage my life at this point it time. I do not want it to be messed up again just like what I did some 4 years ago. Fantasy writing. Lol ^^,

It’s about nine months now since i have wished that I could see her once more, or even have a nice conversation (or maybe it was just five or six months? I almost lost track of time waiting). It’s been a really ordinary Saturday morning for me once again. It’s almost the start of second semester and what am I doing? Flowing along with the crowd here in this mall with nothing in particular to go to. I’ll just drop by Comic Alley to have an occasional look on the new anime that has been released as CD/DVD and maybe I can buy some if the anime I like are available. Apparently, the same old stuff are displayed there. I did not even consume five minutes inside the store and I left already.

I’ve been here in this mall for about 2 hours, and counting. My senses tell me something unexpected is about to happen. Because of this, I have neglected the coldness of the area. Then I remember something that I have read (or maybe heard) the cold is just a word to describe the lost of heat. Or was it not? Anyway, as I try to remember what it really is, I decided to take a nice sit in the food court. As a kid, I always adore and remember food courts of malls as a nice place to rest and have a sit, probably a nap, but never as a place to eat. I wonder.

I finally get to rest this tired feet of mine. After the long stretch of indefinite walks along the mall, I have found nothing that has captured my interest. Disappointed, I taught of going home now as I may end up losing too much money in this overrated structure.

But I will not go home yet. Not until I visit the nearest bookstore so that I can see what books now are available. I love reading fiction, mainly about some mystery-romance-comedy-drama type of story. I have learned to love them from manga, anime, real-life happenings (yes, it happens). and now fictional stories. I remembered the short story The Dandelion Girl written by Robert F. Young which I could never forget, because of the lines

Day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today, you.

It really meant a lot in the story, as well as my favorite character in Clannad, Kotomi Ichinose. I love that anime. I can still remember the moments when Kotomi is actually saying these phrases to Tomoya. Really heart-touching. I spaced out for a while but when I came back to reality, what it is this that I see? Can this be true? A white-toned, very long-haired lady is in my sight, as though I can recognize them. And I really can recognize them, because she is her, in the flesh. Nerves start cracking, blood flows the opposite direction and I don’t even know what to do, or what to think. Then I remembered that I wrote a short story of what I would like to happen and what to do in the case that my dream “meeting once again” should really occur. Heck it did, in every detail. Maybe this is why I thought I was having some kind of dejavu.

I walked straight into her, chest up, head straight. Sigh. This is just a moment that will start and surely pass and fade. I can get over this. Knowing her background and what I was known for way back in high school (being a school joker and all that), I just informally tap her right shoulder so that she would get my attention because I approach her from the back. It took no time for her to turn and look at me. This moment alone seemed eternity. Did the world got slower this time? I hope it did. Because I can’t stand it anymore.

She was really surprised, although it is not evident in those small eyes of hers. The smile she gave - I can forever gaze upon it. It was such a precious event only to be trapped in the limits of time. But wait, I didn’t say a bit.

“She! It’s been a really long time. I never thought that we would meet again.”, she said.

“Yeah, it’s such a coincidence”, I uttered. Although in my mind, I’m thinking of perhaps destiny, not coincidence that brought us together in that same place and the same time. “So, are you going some place else? Will you go home na?”

“No not yet, I just arrived here. I’m buying some materials since classes will start soon now. How about you?”, she added with still that smile as visible as the sun in her face. I don’t think I understood what she said so I just waited for her to get all the materials she need and to pay for them so we can talk outside perhaps. I offered her a meal, so we sat in a place where we could eat and share some conversations. This time, it is I who insisted this to happen probably because of two very important things: so that I can satisfy my unconscious being’s needs - to see her again, to talk with her again, to know what it feels again being with her, not knowing what she STILL means to me all this time; and secondly, plainly because this precious moment may not happen anymore, ever. This is just a moment that will start and surely pass and fade.

Having this in mind, I actually explode with a lot of stories to tell and even more emotions to fulfill, both for me and for the one I am currently talking to. My academics and hers, my stories of the road and hers, stories of my success, failures, and certainly, hardships, and of course hers. It takes us more than hour to be there. I realize that time was not really that important for her, whether she, or I would prolong this conversation or not. But for me, I definitely want this a bit longer. Longer than what I will ever expect, and treasure and savor and adore every second of it, face to face, with the one I had loved so dearly. For more than two hours now, my heartbeat has been pounding like heavy rain in a dry cemented road. Every pulse I feel is very strong, strong enough to get my attention to pause for a while, and regain my form. This is just a moment that will start and surely pass and fade.

After some time, I lost track of time again, but in a beautiful way. She bid farewell for it was getting late and the travel time from that mall to her house would take more than three quarters of an hour. So I bid farewell, told her that I would accompany her home, but denied me of my request. I knew that. I’m so glad that I didn’t feel any negative matter with that. I had long accepted that. So told her take care and “Until next time”, but I know that there wouldn’t be a next time. I think that’s what she thought of too. We just couldn’t tell each other. This is just a moment that will start and surely pass and fade.

I don’t want to further this story simply because I do not want to anymore. It ends that way and no other ending shall it possess. After that, I finally got over her and totally accepted the fate that has been lain long before we have lived. But then, even if I were farther away than anyone else, would you still smile for me from here? I have long waited for that smile, a warm smile, a smile so dear and so comforting and soothing. A smile that has survived the limits of time, of distance, and even memories.

I know someday, my memories will fade. I will forget your smile, your eyes, even your voice. But I will forever remember that I had loved you. That is just a moment that will start and surely pass and fade, but the memory it created will never be clogged on time as it will always be with me.

Ne, akenai yoru nado naito omoeta no wa. Itsu datte anata ga soko ni iru kara…

Hey, I was able to think that there’s no such thing as a night that never turns to dawn. It’s because you were always there…

Itsu no hika kono inochi ga todaeru, sonna toki ga kuru keredo. Kono uta wo utai nokoseta nara, atashi wa hitori ja nai ne… mata kaeru sono toki made.

Someday this life will end. Even if that time was to come, if this song that you wish to sing was left behind, I won’t be alone right? Until I return to that time again.

44 years in the making. They deserve to be champions. Spain. Euro 2k8 champions. Too bad it’s not the Netherlands. Well at least I’m glad it’s not Germany either. Haha. Lol.

For some reason, I can’t put it here.

So watch it HERE.

I found this in ESPN.com a while ago. Really weird. Lol. Hahaha. ^^,

Yesterday, I was in a long line of students waiting to be enlisted in our JEEP (Junior Engagement Program) for schedule and area. JEEP here in Ateneo is something like the next step version of the Sophomore’s NSTP, which will allow us to dig dipper in the hearts of the marginalized, as we ourselves take part in their everyday jobs (and on the Senior year, their everyday lives).

So as I was saying, I was in this line when I heard some girls in my back talking about what would happen in these activites. I was really shocked and got totally upset when I heard some conversations of these types:

>> a)Mabilis lang ba biyahe doon? b)Oo, isang jeep lang naman eh. a)Ha? Jeep? Hindi ba puwedeng kotse na lang? b) Sosyal mo naman. Puwede namang jeep ah. a) Eh pero puwede naman kotse di ba? As much as possible, ayaw ko sumakay ng jeep. Or LRT siguro puwede pa.

>> a) Ang natitira na lang daw ay corn vendors at jeepney barkers. b) Oh my God! Wala na bang iba? Oh shit. Lagot ako. Lagot talaga ako. Wala bang air-con na natira? Grabe naman.

>> Eew. Puwede bang i-skip na lang ‘to? Kasi ayaw kong mag-work kasama nila eh. Mahirap yata ‘yun.

So there. Still vibrating the voices of those people in my eardrums right now. Really unbelievable case. I still don’t know how the likes of them can be people for others if what they consider people are just the people of their “kinds”. I am SO sick of them. Total discrimination. Haven’t they thought that the poor and oppressed were born that way and that in some way or another, will have the choice and the will to take themselves out of it. To bring back their morale in a “classed” society.

I don’t imagine myself talking, mingling, or even working with those type of persons. They are far more disgusting than the things they disgust the most.

After some days break from having “sleepful” nights without dreams, much to my surprise, i had two of ‘em last night.

The first one is what I call a really terrible nightmare. It’s like my parents got separated and THIS is the last thing I had in mind that I would like to happen. No, I don’t want this to happen. I want my family to stay put as it is and be bonded strongly for eternity. After that tragedy of a dream, I woke up and took a much needed comfort room break, which I think I had unconsciously forced just to stop that nightmare.

It was about 5am back then and I still had about 2 hours of sleep so I closed my eyes and went to slumber again. Alas, I had a second dream, but it was entirely different from the first one. It’s like I’m in this strange I-don’t-know place that somebody asked me who would be the first person in the world that would come if I were in trouble, or if I would request to and things like that. Of course, I expected that RA would be the first one. But to my surprise, yet again, it (she) was not the person I had expected. She was somewhere probably on the list in my mind but not even close to being at the top. No she’s not MC. XD. Just someone else I knew. An old friend of mine that I have a crush on.. Really intriguing haha. Lol. XD.

So after that, I took my usual morning sessions and then went to school. Another day…

Awww the Dutch have fallen in the Euro 2k8 with a crushing blow from the Russians 3-1. Really hurts. As I watch the game, it is obvious that the Dutch are not in shape and they have not been in form in the the whole game unlike what they did with the first qualifying and preliminary matches. Guess I’d place my bet on either Spain or Germany as the champs and although the Germans are the favorites, I think I’d go with Spain.

We have been struck with a serious typhoon that left our nation at least 230 dead and several others injured and/or lost. Really sad. Good thing that the typhoon already left the Philippines but the havoc that it left is too much to be forgotten, especially those who have been seriously affected. As with the other news, I don’t know, I’ll just keep on livin’ and I want to read Tsubasa Tokyo Chronicles (manga) someday. Seems interesting.

Sayonara! Auf wiedersehen.. ^^,